Execute? Execute what?

In our women's ministry, Daughters of the King (aka DOTK), this year we were challenged to pray about a word and a verse specific to what God wants us to do or learn this year. At one of our monthly gatherings we shared our words and verses for accountability. My word and verse this year did not come as a surprise, but I was certainly in awe of His goodness as I really felt God start moving us in this direction last year. With our miscarriage last November, we ended the year just focusing on healing. 

When I was praying about this word, this verse, this next step in this season of life I kept getting "execute" ... um, what? It reminded me of an execution so I, naturally, questioned God. I took to google and started researching the definition of execute and then looked up passages in the Bible where this word was mentioned. I read a specific passage and immediately had to repent for questioning Him. I mean hello, He is all knowing and I am .... not. Definitely not. Deuteronomy 10:18: "He executes justice for the fatherless and widow, and loves the foreigner, giving him food and clothing." Insert wide eye emoji here. 

Let me back track for you, towards the end of last year we really started talking about a few things that tie into this verse. The first was creating our home for hospitality since we felt God was growing a desire in our hearts to open our home to others such as our neighbors and family from church. We just want God to use us to love on others, whatever that looks like. the second actually started with as a small thought when we first got married. The Lord really grew that desire in my heart over the last four years and I started praying for the desire in my husband's heart to grow as well, but it wasn't until we struggled with infertility and loss that our eyes were opened to much more than just becoming parents to children biologically. You see, I had become consumed by the desire to be a mom, to get pregnant, to plan out pregnancy announcements and a registry that I was not listening to what God was trying to tell me. I think back to the years where I just wanted a positive pregnancy test or even just a normal cycle to track and I feel just awful about the time I wasted on my own desires. I was chasing my own kind of happiness and because of this, I was so far removed from my Father in Heaven and what He was trying to call us to. Needless to say, my spiritual life suffered. 

Back to present time, I questioned Him and His goodness. Silly me, God's word is full of promises such as, Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. " and Romans 8:28: "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. ". 

One of my favorite reminders is in Luke 12:6 & 7: "Aren’t five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. Indeed, the hairs of your head are all counted. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows! ". 

Sadly, I was consumed by something that could not give me pure joy, hope and purpose like my Father in Heaven can. During this time I was not the one who was forgotten, my Daddy was. I knew I needed a renewed spirit so I cried out to God and He granted it to me. My husband and I were praying about how to create a home for hospitality, and about adoption and it was then that we decided to purchase resources. Well, after we started reading and really praying about it all, that was when He gave me my word and verse. I was just amazed that in my chaos He saw order. He had a purpose and a plan for the path we had been walking, I just needed to focus on Him to hear what He was telling me. 

During these months, and through praying and reading this verse often, He has also opened our eyes to the importance and need of fostering which makes my verse of the year even more relevant. God truly knows it all. He truly is better at planning my life then I ever will be, so I have fully and faithfully handed it over to me. Am I nervous about what is to come? Of course BUT God is with us, goes before us and has us in the palms of His hands. 
I charge you to take time to spend in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Be still and quiet long enough to hear from Him. Perhaps, He has more for you than you can think or imagine.