Adoption Journey - Timeline 1

For some of you, this will be some of your favorite posts but for others, not so much. I say that because it really depends on the season of life that you're in as to whether or not posts about Adoption is something you want to read. With that being said, I encourage you to read them because you never know what God may put on your heart ;) God used this blog to help me learn about Adoption and it forever changed mine. 

I would like to share three disclaimers. First, every Adoption story is special and unique to each individual family. Sure, some adoptions happen weeks to a couple of months after the Home Study is complete while others can take up to a year (or more). It's a blessing to not have a cookie cutter experience; however, my prayer is that all adoptions would bring glory to God and redemption to families. Second, there will be some things we won't share for the safety and privacy of our family. I mean, this is the wide world web so I would rather not share specific details or names of anyone involved in our adoption journey (i.e. Agency name, location, social worker and certainly not our expectant family information). Thank you for understanding! Third, there is a lot of detail here but it's because I want to soak in every. single. thing. about our sweet journey that will lead us to our baby. 

Timeline:

5/22/17 - Inquired with our Agency

5/23/17 - Agency sent us our Child Preference Checklist (Basically, you read through this checklist and mark what your family is looking for and comfortable with regarding a child. It was everything from age range to medical conditions and let me tell you, it was an incredibly tough checklist to fill out.)

*There was a date from 5/23 to 6/6 where I looked on their website and they had a message saying they capped their Adoptive Family list and I was SO bummed and I may or may not but definitely cried. I felt like this agency was an answer to prayer and this was a setback that I wasn't prepared for. But both, my darling husband and one of my best friends (who also happens to be my personal consultant and a huge blessing as she's adopted twice!) both told me to just call and ask them if that included us since we sent an inquiry. I was hesitant because we hadn't emailed our CPC form back but I finally did and praise the Lord, she said it DID NOT include us! Of course I felt silly for crying but adopting makes your hormones all crazy too so I blame it on that. 

6/6/17 - Emailed our CPC form back

6/27/17 - Received the Agency Application

*Went on vacation for a week. Budgeted out application fee

7/20/17 - Emailed our application to agency and mailed our application fee

7/27/17 - Agency received fee and began working on our references (which were a lot)

*There was a time here where the Florida Adoption Laws made an update to the amount of Adoption Training hours needed for Adoptive families to have so our agency was working to ensure they had what they needed to abide by the law.

8/15/17 - First Home Study visit scheduled for 9/6/17

8/23/17 - Received the family resume to fill out (WOW. This was kind of a lot. It asked about our relationship with our parents, our relationships with Christ, our finances, our marriage and what led us to adoption.)

8/24/17 - Emailed what we thought was the completed family resume

9/1/17 - Emailed the pages of the family resume we forgot the first time

9/4/17 - Home Study visit rescheduled because of Hurricane Irma

9/27/17 - Agency added a December date for the Adoption Training class and we signed up (we had a prior engagement for the one in September that we could not get out of)

10/05/17 - First Home Study visit RESCHEDULED
10/19/17 - First Home Study visit
11/15/17 - Home Study Part 2

12/09/17 - First Adoption Training class


Well, that's where we are thus far. I'll update this every few months as we move forward in our adoption. I was going to do a specific post on the home study visit but I don't feel as though it deserves its' own post so I'm going to share about it in this one.

I totally worked up this home study in my head and it was not nearly as scary as I thought. Now, every home study is different as every agency is different and this was only the first part. I have no clue what part 2 will look like. We sat down in the living room and went over our family profile that we filled out. Basically, we reviewed what we answered and elaborated on why we answered the way we did. We took a break after about an hour and a half and that is when we showed her around the house. Afterward we sat back down and talked a little more. She asked us questions about us (the first part were questions about each of us individually) such as our goals, why or what led us to adoption and how we rated our intimacy ... yes, you read that right. I knew to expect that question but it still doesn't change how awkward it is to answer. You should be fully aware as well. You're welcome. That was it friends! It really was like a friend coming over to hangout and get to know each other better. Our social worker is so incredibly sweet and you can tell she is for us. I have heard horror stories so I was a little nervous about that but she was great! To end this ridiculously long post, I give you a picture of us on our home study day (we took it right after).

Fall, Vacation and Waiting

I love fall and I love vacation but the "waiting game" was not invited to the party. I was really hoping to have shared two Adoption posts that I had planned to go out this week and next BUT our home study was rescheduled, again, causing me to postpone them. Counting it all joy though, because this means while we are on vacation my sister-in-love can snap some pictures of us to create our Adoption announcement. Let's be real, that was not going to get done otherwise and I know I would have been depressed super sad if we didn't. Y'all, I get to experience my first fall! We will be visiting my husband's family in W.V. and then go to N.C. This is a semi-family (we will miss you, Wesley!) vacation and I'm so excited to get away for a week. Insert all the praise hands here. 

As exciting as fall and vacation both are, waiting can put a damper on things. Adoption is a long wait as it is, but waiting for what should be the easiest part of it all down right sucks. Yes, I know, God has a plan but when you're in the waiting tunnel vision can occur. Right now this home study is what's next on the list and I want to start marking things off of my list but this two month wait for a home study doesn't allow it. Not to mention, it's not part of the plan. When things aren't part of the plan it makes it much harder to deal with. Truthfully, none of this was my plan to begin with, but it has always been GOD'S plan. 

Sometimes I wish I could see what God sees and look at the big picture of my life. Most times it's when I'm in the thick of the unknown. Honestly though, I am thankful that I can't. I just know that it would keep me from saying "yes" to growth and Kingdom work. There are times now when I think about my sinful nature, when I feel like there is no way I am making any kind of a difference working an 8 to 5, when I feel insignificant or how I'm just "forgotten" about, His word fills my heart and mind with truth. 

He reminds me that I am called out of darkness into His wonderful light. "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the One who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." - 1 Peter 2:9

He reminds me that I am called for a purpose. "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28

He reminds me that I am worthy. "So don't be afraid therefore; you are worth more than many sparrows." - Matthew 10:31

He reminds me that I am not forgotten. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

I just want to make myself available for God. Living totally and completely for His purpose and plan in my life. So, in this waiting I will lean into Him and trust Him because He who promised is faithful.

Bloom Where You Are Planted

Raise your hand if you have a bad memory. Keep it up if you don't have enough hours in the day. Don't worry, I raised mine too ... and kept it up. My husband jokes and says that movies I've seen are always new and exciting because I never remember what happens. Yup, this is so true. It can; however, be pretty frustrating when you are trying to prove your husband wrong and you forget your evidence (insert eye roll emoji). So, how do you add hours to the day? How do you train your mind to memorize scripture? My heart has been on a fast track to knowing God more deeply. I have a desire to pray more and memorize scripture. I have been praying about this for a while and decided to share with my mentor my thoughts and feelings about it all. She then shared with me ideas and totally do-able things to get started. I am so excited to share them with you today!

I want to share some words of truth and encouragement for a minute... I get it, time is the big "reason" you can't do what you "want" to do. I know that many of you are working wives (like myself) and moms, or even more chaotic (but total goals) stay-at-home mamas and that's not all - you're in a women's group or a small group, you serve in the children's ministry and you still have dishes to wash and laundry to fold. It can be difficult for you to use the restroom by yourself, let alone get enough time to pray, read and memorize scripture! All of those things are good things, even the laundry (praise God for clothes) but they are also all excuses. Your spiritual life depends on whether or not you're gardening it. If you aren't spending time in the Son, you won't ever grow. Can you imagine seeing someone you love (sacrificial type love) not blooming and growing? I'm quite certain you would feel sad for a number of reasons. You know Who else might feel that way? How can anything grow without being taken care of? It's not possible. You need to set aside time so that you can bloom and grow. Bottom line, you make time for what you want to make time for.

So, you've been desiring growth for a while but where do you start? Well, I am so glad you asked. It begins with these three characteristics right here: self-discipline, wisdom and commitment. Set your alarm to begin your day before the crazy starts. Have self-discipline to not hit the "snooze" button. Make it easy for yourself, use wisdom. Set your Bible or journal (and any other items you like to use) out where you plan on having your quiet time. Make it readily available so that you aren't searching for it all in the morning. This can be a real deterrent. Be committed. Commit to your time with God, to prayer, and memorizing scripture. Commit to being a woman of growth. Now, if only I can incorporate these into creating healthier habits ...

Will your mornings be perfect? No. Will there be days where you just cannot will yourself to getting up? Yes. Just don't make habits out of them. Allow yourself rest and give your family what they need but not at the expense of your relationship with Christ. He loves you more than you can fathom and He wants to spend time with you. Get in the Son so that you can bloom where you've been planted.

Happy ONE Year!

On September 15, 2017, this beautiful, blog baby of mine turned a year old. I cannot believe it has been one whole year since I started writing and expressing myself in this little part of the internet! Truly, it has been such a blessing. Certainly, I have not blogged as consistently as I was hoping but I now have a year under my belt. I plan on getting more organized (blogging wise) and growing my audience. This blog was and always will be a place where I express what God is doing in my life and how His grace is offered to us all. 

Thank you to my faithful followers/readers who have supported me this past year. Those of you who have followed along and shared how it spoke to you or encouraged you - thank you! It was (and is) a huge encouragement to me and motivation to keep sharing. 

In honor of my blog baby's FIRST birthday, I've decided to create a list of five of my favorite things from this past year (one favorite thing just seemed too short): 

1. Starting the blog, of course.
I prayed and prayed and prayed about this blog, for those who would read the blog, the content of this blog and to be open to sharing what God was calling me to, for MONTHS leading up to the day I clicked "Publish" (September 15th). 

2. How it has grown me. 
I was not expecting to share as much as I did, as quickly as I did. That was totally and completely a God thing. In my times of questioning whether or not I would ever get pregnant, ever be a mom or what I would end up doing with my life if I didn't have children, I found comfort in reading other stories of women just like me. I wanted this blog to be a safe place for other women who are walking that same path. This blog has also cultivated a desire in my heart to grow and expand. What does this mean and what does this look like? Community. Creating a community of sisterhood and motherhood. I will say, it is in the works, friends! 

3. Over 20 views!
The posts "A Loss like No Other" and "Define Healing" had over 20 views and this was a huge moment in my little blogging world. Granted, it happened to be the two posts where I shared about Baby J but it was confirmation that I shared what God wanted me to. Sure, a few of those views were family but I just think about the women that it could have been and my heart goes out to them and they are in my prayers, still.

4. We are ADOPTING! 
This is so incredibly exciting for us and I cannot wait to share more about it. I will be posting an update of where we are in the process and I'll have Adoption Updates throughout the entire process.

5. Pregnancy. 
I am including the next few things together because it really is all encompassing. Finding out I was pregnant. Oh my, this was a huge surprise for me. I can't help but smile so big when I think about that day. It gives me all the feels. Telling my husband I was pregnant. This was so much fun and I am so incredibly happy that I was able to put the onesie together for him (if you have no idea what I'm talking about read this post). Hearing baby J's heartbeat. Definitely a favorite, need I say more? Belly prayers - my husband prayed over my belly every evening. Baby J was prayed for and prayed over all the days of his little life. I have found so much comfort in knowing that when he opened his eyes, the first face he saw was Jesus. 

So there we have it, a few favorites from this past year. I am taking this weekend to put a blogging schedule together for year number TWO. I am really excited and hope you are too! Also, there are pretty big things in the works (cough,cough - vodcast) but that is all I can say for now ;) ! See you back here next week. Again, THANK YOU for being a part of this journey. XOXO  

I've already failed at blogging

Yes, you read the title right...I've already failed at blogging - at least that is what I initially thought.  Literally, my words were, "it's been THREE weeks and I have already failed".  Well, friends, I did some research and guess what?  I can post as often as I want!  Snaps for you if you already knew this. (side note: "snaps" is a reference to Legally Blonde 2 and the 'snap cup' ;) ).  It was a relief to realize just because in my mind I wanted to post once a week and it didn't quite pan out that way, that I didn't totally fail at blogging so snaps for Jess! 

So about a week and a half ago I wrote the start to, what would have been, my third post; however, I read over it and realized that was not what God wanted me to share, not yet anyway.  Instead, I feel Him leading me to write about the awful 'f word' we all hate...not that f word, the other one - failure.  I have talked about discipline and with discipline comes the possibility of failure.  I'm going to fill you in on my current goals and what is going on with me.  

Okay, so I signed up for a 31 day challenge for the month of October.  If you know me then you already know that it was with Tone It Up .  I've been following this fabulous, online fitness duo for about three years and just became an official member (insert the huge, grinning emoji here).  Whoa, major side track - sorry.  So goal number one: follow the challenge workouts everyday.  Along with that challenge comes an entire meal plan.  Goal number two: stick to the nutrition plan.  I'll be honest here, I'm sticking to it about 80%.  Friends, this is where I look back at what I've accomplished in 5 days and think, "awesome, I'm failing miserably".  I missed days two and three of working out so that means my challenge actually ends November 2nd AND I've somewhat failed following the nutrition plan.  I get so frustrated with myself and it makes me just want to quit (I know you all can relate); however, this time is different.  My mind set is different.  What's the saying? Fall down 7 times get up 8.  That is what I'm planning to do, get up and not stay down, throwing my own pity party.  Goal number three (and the most important to me): get up early to pray.  So this one I started this week and so far I've gotten two out of three days.  The reason why this one is so important to me is because everything rises and falls on what my prayer life is like.  If I am committing my day to the Lord and spending time in His presence before the craziness of life sets in, then I have a better chance of everything else going fairly smoothly.  And if it doesn't, at least I know the day was committed to my Father and He knew all that was going to take place before it actually did.  Goal number four: read my Bible through the year.  Fail, with a capital F.  I felt so bad about being three days behind that I re-started and missed the second day.  (Insert wining emoji here - clearly, I like emoji's).

As you can see, on my "goals report card" I have received mostly F's.  Through this process I've realized that I need to give myself some G's.  What is that letter grade you ask?  Grace.  I need to give myself grace.  My Father in heaven, loves me and says that I am worthy of His grace, and so are you.

John 1:16 says, " For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."   - My seester (my beautiful sister-in-love who is also my absolute best friend. Ever. Aside from my hubby, of course.) loves this verse and I understand why.  It speaks a little louder to me now than before, perhaps because I'm learning more about grace, the grace I am given, and the grace I should extend.

We have to extend ourselves grace too.  Whatever it is that you feel like you are failing miserably at, extend YOURSELF grace.  You are beautiful.  You are worthy.  You are valuable.  Don't believe me?  Read what God has to say about you in His word.  

Song of Solomon 4:7

You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.

Proverbs 31:10

Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies.

Luke 12:6-7

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.