When God speaks

This week has been a week of truth speaking and embracing Godly sorrow.  Not as fun and exciting as my favorite things of the week but way more beneficial.

This Sunday God spoke.  He spoke to the congregation in my church.  He spoke through my husband who gave the message.  He spoke to me directly.  It was exactly what I needed and I didn't even know it.  

In my first post I mentioned that I was made to be a momma and the struggle with doubting that sometimes.  Well, I have been feeling so proud of myself (like I do anything in my own strength) because of how God has given me peace about possibly not becoming a mother biologically.  I kept thinking He had answered me and I was okay with His answer because He is still good.  I was excited about getting an answer because I thought with being at peace about it we will get to move forward with adoption sooner since whether or not we have children biologically we were called to adopt.

Sunday I realized that I was wrong.  He hasn't given me peace about it.  He hasn't answered me, yet.  Instead, He told me "embrace this Godly sorrow"... I'm sorry, what?  Here is a little backstory, since I was younger I never really shared my feelings and still don't.  Not my deep, heartfelt feelings.  Why?  Fear of rejection, fear of being found silly for my feelings, and fear of letting people get too close just so that they can leave me again.  Honestly, you can name a thousand reasons and they will probably all fit.  That is the heart behind the blog.  Sharing more of myself so that He may be glorified.

So, here it is... I need to embrace the sorrow that comes with the fact that I may not have children biologically.  Does it hurt to think about it, let alone write about it?  Of course.  If I don't let myself embrace this sorrow, I will never heal.  I was simply bandaging the wound instead of allowing my Savior to heal it.  I know that God does not call everyone to parenthood.  I know He does not call everyone to have children biologically.  I know all of that and that is why I didn't let myself embrace that sorrow but God wants me to so that I can be broken before Him, and He can revive my heart.  Hosea 6:3 is a beautiful reminder that if I acknowledge the Lord, His strength and the work He is doing in my life, He will come to me, and He will heal me. 

Now I know many of you have a few various questions like, have we really tried?  Have we gone to the doctor to get checked out?  Have we really prayed about it?  And my answers are maybe not, it would depend on your definition of "trying".  No, and I'm not sure that it would honestly give us the answers or peace we desire; however, it is something that we are going to discuss.  And, not together as often as we should.

When God speaks one grows.  We just need to listen.  If it is just my husband and me for the rest of our lives, I will still have a full heart.  If it happens, I will be so thankful to our Father but if not, He is still good.  I was reminded on Sunday that I need to enjoy where God has me now and not get caught up in the world and its' culture.  In my Armor of God study I learned that I can sometimes let comparative righteousness rule over me.  Isn't that one of the enemy's greatest tools?  Telling us lies and leading us to compare ourselves and our lives to everyone around us.  Well, God said enough.  The imputed righteousness, which came from His death on the cross for my sins, declares me innocent before God.  No more comparing, no more letting culture determine my thinking.  Why don't we, collectively, start embracing the Godly sorrow that may come so that we may be fully healed in Him.

Friday Favorites

Happy Friday, friends!I'm joining my very FIRST link up with Andrea, Erika, and Narci. :)  Okay, here we go...

One   my handsome

God has grown me a little more this week, and through that I have a greater appreciation of the husband He has given me.  He really is my best friend.  He is a total entertainer at home.  He is patient and loving, and I am pretty sure I could go on forever about him.  He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me.  

Two  Armor of God study

Y'all, this study is fantastic.  Now, I am not going to tell you that each week I have done each day because I would be lying.  BUT out of three weeks, I'm only 3 days behind so that's not too shabby.  Anyway, it really is amazing.  It is eye opening, motivating, and encouraging.  I still have 4 weeks left of it, but already I am already loving it, and recommend it as a study for women.

Three  baby shower gift shopping for my seester (sister-in-love)

Unfortunately, I cannot show everyone the adorable items my husband and I picked out because occasionally she reads this blog, so then she would know what we were getting her, and that is NO fun; however, you can see from the picture above, it's happy camper themed.  I'm so excited for a new, little niece but I'm more excited that my husband and his family get to experience this baby excitement for the first time.  So you better understand: she is the first of three kids to have a baby, so my husband and his brother are first time uncles and of course, my in-loves are first time grandparents.

Four  Magic basketball season.

My husband is a huge fan, and I'm just a fan (haha).  We recently went in on a ticket package with my in-loves (parents, sister and her husband), so we will get to go to multiple games this season.  The atmosphere at games are my favorite, and it makes for a fun date night!  I'm so thankful we were able to do this.  Go Magic!

Welp, that's all for this week (I'm new at this).  I look back at these things and smile because it reminds me that God is even in the smallest details that, sometimes, we think are silly but bring us genuine joy.  Have a fabulous Friday!

A few tears, and a lot of love

10 Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics[a] of the Devil. 12 For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. 13 This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand. 14 Stand, therefore,

with truth like a belt around your waist,

righteousness like armor on your chest,

15 

and your feet sandaled with readiness

for the gospel of peace.[b]

16 

In every situation take the shield of faith,

and with it you will be able to extinguish

all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

17 

Take the helmet of salvation,

and the sword of the Spirit,

which is God’s word.

18 Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert in this with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.

Ephesians 6:10-18.  Good stuff, eh?

My lovely DOTK (Daughter's of the King) group at church is currently in the third week of Priscilla Shirer's Armor of God study, and WHOA - it is awesome.  Remember when I wrote about how the enemy likes to declare battles when you get serious about getting serious with God?  I wasn't kidding.  This past Sunday was an incredibly difficult day for me both, spiritually and physically.  Y'all, I was a mess.  Sidenote: I still can't believe that I'm here, writing, and sharing my feelings...I just don't do this sort of thing, BUT GOD has a plan.  

Okay, so I was a mess.  Like Kim Kardashian mess.  See below for visual:

 

I was mess for numerous reasons, insecurity, doubting God, irritation with my husband (he seriously is the best, I'm sensitive to a fault), just to name a few.  And for most of the day I was ugly, angry, distraught, and sad until I remembered what Priscilla shares in the first week of this study, "The most troubling things in your life - things you perceive with your five physical senses - are not your real issue.  Though you may be wrestling with them verbally, emotionally, financially, even physically, you are wasting precious time and energy that needs to be reserved for the real culprit - the one who is behind the scenes, striving to direct the details of some of your most acute difficulties.  Everything that occurs in the visible, physical world is directly connected to the wrestling match being waged in the invisible, spiritual world.". 

Caught ya! Ya sneaky, little snake. What I've learned is that the enemy wants us to forget about him.  He wants us to blame and hate everything, and everyone.  When we do this, we let him win.  We allow ourselves to get caught up in the world around us, things that take place in our personal lives, and anything else that doesn't go as planned or as smooth as we would like and we totally forget who is behind it all - the enemy.  Granted, sometimes things happen in order for God to grab our attention, and for Him to teach us something, but Holy Spirit will help you discern that.  

God has blessed me with a husband who is patient, and loving.  He just sat with me, talking, listening, and encouraging me.  A dear friend, and sweet sister in Christ, understood how I was feeling, corrected me in love, and shared her own personal feelings and thoughts to help me through mine.  So much love the Father has for us, and so often He uses friends and family to love on us.  So, now I want to encourage you, do not let the enemy steal your joy.  Remember that beyond the physical life and its' battles, there is a spiritual life that is waging war.  Be a Warrior, put on your armor, and fight.

Your family, friends, health, and soul are worth it.